Thursday, October 29, 2009

times they are 'a changen - ME

Living in the moment while having to make plans for the states, a bummer but a blessing reminding me how much I have been transformed to live for the day and not take for granted the present moments. So as I receive an invitation from Maggie Johnston to return and work for the McDowell Environmental Center for a month, between returning to the states and starting the ECHO internship, I realize how rooted I have become in the day to day progression of life.

It started last week or so as I was finalizing my return flight when plans started to be made for my return. Things such as who will pick me up, what will the weekend plan be and where will I live before the internship. It is a bit of a mind bender to catapult my mind into jan, feb and march. I have been having a lot of fun just waiting to see what the next day brings. Nothing huge has happened but nice little surprises pop up such as a family barbeque, walking in the rain to a fruit bar, an impromptu trip to the movie theater to enjoy ice cream and popcorn.

So to understand what this means to me you need to understand who I was. Well, I suppose they are my still present tendencies to over plan, over organize and be too wound-up to be on my schedule and routine. I would have to plan a week in advance (minimum) to mentally prepare myself to go out and do anything, and if plans didn’t work out I was a mess and not at all happy.

Ha! A routine!? Barley exists here. Not for me anyway. The first number of months this was very difficult for me. In the states I thrived on routine and expectations, neither of which are easy to come by here.

I now love the freedom I have been introduced to. I still make plans a few days in advance but just as an outline. If it doesn’t work out, the plans are changed and my day is just as lovely, if not better, than what we would have done previously. I feel like I am seeing and experiencing far more than I would have hand-cuffed to my own expectations.

Releasing ones expectations has been, for me, a release of pride. Think about it, who am I to dictate my every moment? Who knows better what will bring me fulfillment than the Lord God. I like to think in my new flexibility I am listening more to God and enjoying the moments of life I am gifted. The future is not guaranteed and I definitely can not add an hour to my life through fretting ( so says scripture). So I won’t fret, I will live.

Thankfully this doesn’t mean I have to give up planning all together, life still takes organizing and forming goals. It gives me something to move towards, but in the mean time I will enjoy the journey.


Remember I always appreciate hearing from you, don’t be a stranger. Be blessed, at peace and laugh out Loud!


LauraCatherine Conville


Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I love strangers

Just a quick note about my day. As I was coming back from cooking lunch in Bosa I had to travel from to calle 100 to go by the DAS building to ask about visa stuff. This is a long ride. Normaly I get off at calle 51 Marley. As I road along it began to rain. This began in the south section so I was thinking surley it'll ease up by the time I get to 100. I was also regretting leaving my umbrella in the apartment, this after having been warned to take it with me today. So as the rain continued and grew heavyer I longed to have my umbrella in hand and wondered how wet I would be at the end of the 20+/- block walk I had between the Transmilenio and the DAS building.

Wouldn't you know it. Just as I exited the terminal a kind man walked up behind me and gave me a gentle nudge to get my attention as he offered to walk with me and share the shelter of his umbrella. What a world we live in, when a perfect stranger litteraly reaches out to help another perfect stranger. He walked with me almost the entire way as we chatted about our lives. The first question he asked was..."where are you from". I supose as he had caught me talking on my phone my accent gave me away. So along the way I explained what I was doing here, he told me about his work and his brother who married a mexican woman who turns out to have prefered to live in mexico with their children while he works as a doctor in Bogota - an interesting discourse of the state of marriage progressed from there.

It was nice to arrive at DAS not nearly as wet as I would have without this kind offer and I was in a very good mood having had shared in plesant conversations with a kind gentlman.

Life can be surprising and so very lovely. Don't be afraid to strike up conversation with a stranger, people really can make a good day better.

Blessings

Monday, October 19, 2009

The hope of prayer

It has been a difficult day and I now am faced with reevaluating the hopes and goals I had set for myself before I leave Colombia. This morning (Fri. Oct.16) I had a meeting with Father Alberto and Bishop Duke. It did not proceed as I had hoped. What I am left with, along with a few tears of frustration, is the comfort that I know God had it all under control. Not even meaning that everything that passed was God’s will, but that God will make something beautiful out of it all. If it is only my personal/spiritual growth.

The day before in a day of fasting it was placed on my heart to pray for the Holy Spirit to be present and facilitate communication during this meeting, even before I knew that the meeting was to be this morning (I now see why I was to pray; the Spirit really does move, neat). At the beginning of the meeting, to cover my bases, I prayed quietly again that the Spirit be upon us to facilitate the meeting. The result was that the Spirit was fully with me reminding me to keep my patience (breath deep and bite my tongue), when to keep my mouth shut and when to talk, thankfully keeping me from crying in front of the Bishop, Alberto and the treasurer (well, that was either the Spirit or my pride...humm, something else to reflect on).


Instead of focusing on this conversation I want to focus my sight on where God is in all of this. Over the past couple of weeks I have listened to an ipod workshop called “the hope of prayer”. Prayer has been a subject of curiosity and study for me over the past year(s). Just trying to understand how it work, how to do it and what God and Christ have to say about it. It has helped to refocus my energies and set me into a consistent prayer routine. That alone has made life more pleasant.

Having read about the troubles facing so many thousands of people here in Colombia, the abject poverty in the Philippines, the Sudan and South Africa, Haiti (only to name a few) I wonder where my frustrations fit into God’s to-do list, do I even have a right to get upset when I am living so comfortably and am so very blessed to have all of my need and the great majority of my wants met.

I have heard that hurt and suffering are objective. I am blessed beyond measure to be present to the truth of this world; the ugliness, the pain and suffering as well as the magnificent glory that we live in. My frustrations, pains and tears matter to God and whatever joys and sorrows your going through truly matter to the Lord. God loves us each with the fulness of His love, there is nothing we could do to deserve God, He just loves us, each one and is offering us His fulness every moment of every day. It is up to us if we will take hold of this offering. Through these children, women and men who live in undignified conditions, who are dying of hunger and disease, who are so heartbreakingly lonely is an invitation to take hold of all of God as we seek to humbly bring healing and comfort. It is good to keep our comfort in check and be willing to be a bit uncomfortable for the sake of our neighbors.
I have decided that God does not have a “to-do list”. Scripture promises us that God hears the prayers of all of his faithful followers if we would but pray without doubt, nothing will be denied us through prayer and fasting. It comes about that if we are followers of Christ seeking to do the will of God, the Lord works through us with the Holy Spirit to put prayers on our hearts. Praying without doubt is taking a moment to ask God if he wants me to pray for this or for that and really be open to the answer. I am finally learning to not talk quite so much, take a bit of time to listen....and ya’ know the difference has been remarkable. It is a beautiful thing to know the voice of God, even if it is a simple yes or no it brings me more comfort than anything I could buy or come up with on my own.
The prime message of “the hope of prayer” is that the ultimate objective of prayer is to bring us into oneness with the Lord God.
That is an Alpha - Omega message if I have ever heard one. The first and last objective of prayer is to be one with the Lord. Amen.
Remember I always appreciate hearing from you, don’t be a stranger. Be blessed, at peace and laugh out Loud!

LauraCatherine Conville

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

The mission....an orphanage?

I have recently received some wonderful emails / comments about the work in Bosa. The interesting theme running through these messages is calling the mission an orphanage. I was struck at how this title could have been interpreted. I first thought that I had unintentionally manipulated the function of Mission Operation Rescue. But then I began to process what it means to be an orphan, reflecting on the condition of our children.


What does Christ mean when he calls us to care for the orphans along with the widows. I believe that an orphan, and at that a widow, is someone who is not being fully loved nor fully provided for. The parents of this community don’t know how to show love for their children. I don’t doubt that the parents do love their children, the tragedy is that their children don’t know that. I have had a few conversations with some kids where I asked if they knew that their parents loved them. The responses were between ‘I don’t know” or “I don’t think so”.


These children face home lives where their parents work long hours, don’t have the money to provide everything for their children, their may be alcohol abuse and their is definitely physical abuse and phycological abuse of one degree or another. These children come to the mission starving for love and affection more than anything. They are in desperate need of mature, Christ centered guidance.


So the mission is not an actual orphanage, because all the children at least have one parent and a home to go to in the evenings. Yet, these children need us during the day just as an orphan needs a home to go to at night.

I am understanding God’s call to service a bit more. What it means to live out the faith fully and loudly. As faithful followers of the Lord everything we do is to bring Him glory and healing to our brothers and sisters. We are not the jobs we perform it is who we serve. I will deeply try to live out a life of service to you and those around me. Keep me accountable and we will grow together.


I caught up on the blog of a fellow missionary Robin Denney and HIGHLY suggest that you read her incredible account of the tragedies, trills and blessing facing the Sudan. I ask you at least read her latest 2 posts. I have taken her up as a mentor and she encourages my walk as a missionary <redenney@gmail.com>


Be blessed, be at peace and laugh out loud!


LauraCatherine Conville

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

God will provide


I can’t believe that it’s practically October and I haven’t written since the 9th. I guess I’ve been a bit distracted/busy. Forgive my neglectfulness. I will do the best I can to catch every one up to date.


First to share fantastic news with all of you that I have been accepted to the ECHO internship that will be for the year 2010. I am stoked. Sometime soon they will let me know if I will be starting in Jan or April and what my concentration/job will actually be.


However, as I have mentioned to a few of you already, I am still very much focused on the here and now. Yet, that has meant a lot more office time and a HUGE learning curve. So as of now I am doing research on grants and searching for benefactors by way of Colombian foundations and businesses. All of which I have never done before. I am also negotiating a new work schedule that ends with less immediately rewarding results as I found while working with the children. When I am with the children I can give hugs, break-up a fight and have heart-to-heart talks with the children. So I would end a day feeling as though I accomplished something. Office life is not so cut and dry.


As of two weeks ago it became frustrating to be at the mission. I was at the mission and Sandra was setting up to prepare the lunch when we realized we had $3,000 pesos ($1.50) and a cupboard practically bare and I was told that even more children were being pulled out. I was completely overwhelmed and felt terribly helpless. I sank into a self-pitty party for a bit as my mind raced with the question...”what do I do?”. I was given some great perspective that this is a situation that many business owners go through when they struggle to pay there employees (whole families depend on this income). I also was advised to figure out what I could do that very day. I realized to do anything to change this situation I would have to leave early and get to my computer. That very evening I sent out the SOS Operation Rescue letter.

Father Alberto called a

meeting for all of the parents of the children to discuss the Operation Rescate. At that time we had some 20 children. Four mothers representing 9 children showed up, we were grateful for these four. The meet

ing went well, all had only positive stories to report. One family said that her son was much more calm, less aggressive, and helping out around the house. Another mother said her daughter had improved 100% in school and she had just received a call of congratulations from her teacher. Yet another mother said that her son was actually sitting down to talk with her, sharing what was going on in his life, which had not been the case before. My heart was overwhelmed with such wonderful news. All were enthusiastic to encourage Father Alberto to keep the mission operating. Yet not a week later all but three of the children were taken out, either for lack of money or lack of children. It is such a disheartening way to return to work with few and fewer children to tend.


As children are being pulled out because their parents can’t pay and we don’t even have money to serve a proper lunch I realized my time and energy are more valuable seeking out the $, resources and know-how. This is a hard decision and makes for more tiresome frustrating days (although I don’t have to wake up as early hehehehe). I have only been with the children three times in the past two + weeks. One of the days I was there, one of the boys who was so attached to me, said to me, ‘you don’t help me, only Estefania helps me’.... and he didn’t approach me the rest of the day. It broke my heart. I understand that he feels that I have abandoned him, but how do I explain to a 9 year old what I am doing to really help him; well, I don’t and just pray that God blesses this effort.

I have A LOT to learn and it will take time. Time is such a luxury. I am staring down the barrel of my last few months here. I wonder what expectations can I hold for myself and the mission; how do I get myself out of the position of being depended upon; even the simple mystery of how to prioritize my day to get the most out of each hour (don’t feel I have figured that out yet).


Everything in God's perfect timing

we are praying hard with pray-full fasting.

As we waite for what God is working on to become clear

Please pray with us...we need help


I am energized to work harder for Operation Rescue when I travel to the mission. I see children who’s parents can’t afford breakfast. As I ride to Bosa I see the homeless and the prostitutes along the streets. I think that if there is anything that can be done to improve these children’s quality of life, preventing them from ending up on the streets or in the same situation as their parents, it must be done and done well.


One early evening as I was returning from Bosa I took note of a roundabout sculpture park. It is a circle where there are some 12 sets of nude greek-like female statues each with four women facing out and some sort of light post coming up from their midst. There beautiful statues. As I was pondering greek sculpture just about 10 minuets latter we were driving through the sector that seems to be the red-light district, there is a prostitute house on every corner. All of my senses were interrupted when I saw a woman dressed in black mesh, a thong and nothing else calling attention to a man passing on the side walk, she went so far as to give a how-to example. She was terribly beautiful and a vulgar site. She was like a vulgar greek sculpture. For the rest of the ride I prayed for her and the prostitutes I saw and wondered what she must have been like as a little girl, what lead to her life-style and what could have been done to have prevented this. I also remembered a sting song that always caught my attention that tells of the life of a prostitute ...“don’t judge me, you could be me in another life, in another set of circumstances. Don’t judge me, I just have to take my chances”


Wednesday, September 9, 2009

One Chapter closses another begins



Today is Audra's last day as a YASC missionary in Colombia.  She flies out at 4pm.  This time had to come sometime, but it comes with mixed emotions and some tears.  The reality of this dear person no longer being a room away will hit me soon, but for now I am trying not to think about it.  We have had amazing adventures, experiences, food (amazingly bad and amazingly good)  and laughing fits that threatened to exfixiate us both.   But we all know that Colombia hasn't seen the last of Audra Mari Krislock, nor have I. I love that girl dearly and I know we will be great friends from here on out.

As of two weeks ago Kate arrived to begin her year in Colombia as a YASC missionary.  For the first 4-6weeks she will be living with a parish family.  It is the same family that hosted Audra for four months and me for a week.  

They are great people and they are really help

ing get Kate going in this n

ew country with its language, currency, food and all.  I am trying to help her the best I can establish a stable and fulfilling work schedule.  She is pre-med and we have hopes of her working in Soacha with the community there, get hooked up with Doctors without Boarders and help get the AIDS and HIV mission up and going.  Until we can get that squared away she is putting in time in Libratadores and Bosa.  She is a sweet and charming young adult and I look forward to getting to know her all the better when it is time for her to move into the apartment.  

We are expecting Brittany the final missionary to arrive late this month.  She to will have a home-stay with a member of the parish.  So I will have alone time in the apartment at least until the end of September and b

y November there will be three ladies in this quaint sea-foam green apartment.  

I realize I haven't intentionally been without roommates since moving out of my parents house.  It might be a bit strange, but with my new work schedule and friends I haven't actually found myself in the apartment all that often, except to sleep and watch the occasional movie.

As for Bosa.  We keep chugging along.  I am loving my new position more and more.  One of my climbing friends has taken it upon himself to help me with the mission.  We are in the process of writing out a business plan. It it we are gathering data for a Monthly, weekly, daily food budget.  This involves hunting out the best prices and methods.  This has been made more simple by the weekly menu that I made out a month.  WIth this we can plan ahead for meal preparations and have a regular inventory of exactly what is needed each week/month.  We are also writing up a letter called "SOS Operacion Rescate" which wich will be used in Spanish and English to call to arms the need for monetary donations.  Along with this I am setting up a meeting with Fr. Edgar who is the technical website guy for the diocese and will be helping us get a Operacion Rescate website.  I hope to come away with some great knowledge there.  Once the Business plan is finished I will be able to set up dates to meet with a lot of fancy people who are looking for a good cause to donate to such as embassies, owners of large and small businesses, bank vice-president, etc.  

So I now find myself in this grass-roots, project coordinating, business planing work schedule and I have never been more fulfilled in a job before.  Well Camp McDowell comes very very close.  It is just that next step I needed.  

I was wondering where that put me in the way of my future plans.  I am still in love with sustainable agriculture and want that to be a part of my future, but I now see what I am capable of and want to take advantage of this ability and drive.  Matt St. John for Episcopal Relief and Development (ERD) came down for another visit.  He was first here in March.  I went with him, Fr. Alberto and Fr. Antonis to visit Bosa.  Along the ride I asked him how I might combine these talents and desires.  He confirmed that I could do most anything along this line with a masters in public health.  The only thing is that I need to figure out my concentration before I get into the program.  Thankfully I have a while before I have to make that decision.  In the mean time if you have any suggestions don't be shy!  Really! 

This Saturday there will be a small health fair for the children in Bosa.  It will include a couple of doctors from the Cathedral and some doctors, specialist, phsycologist, etc. who are available to put in some time.  Fr. Alberto will not be their so I get to help organize this event.  I plan to take my camera and Kate so that I can come back with some photos.  

Remember to take notice of the beauty and blessings that are surrounding you at this moment.  Don't let a day go by without appreciating your life, friends and loved ones.  And be sure to make up any excuse to laugh out loud!!


Blessings, Peace, Love and Laughter,


LauraCatherine Conville




Kate is on the right

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Photos of Bosa

WELCOME to BOSA!!

This is our Humble Home
This is the lot we are hoping to buy
to make our new humble Home
so far we lack the $$

Inside view of our humble little chaple
We share chairs with the mission
and they are brought in before each service
The outside view of the chaple.
The holes in the walls have grown
large enough for small children and dogs
to crawl through
I supose its time to patch them up Heehehe
The view out from the second floor window
The park where the kids play is to the centerish leftish
The street I walk that gets me to and from the Mission
I finaly wrote up the house rules 
along side are the consecuenses for 
breaking the rules
It has worked quite well
Settling down for lunch
Some days this is easyer than others
Because it has been requested 
I have included a few photos with me in the frame.
Enjoy
This is the kitchen
(actually as of yesterday the fridge in the background
burned out and we had to replace it with another doner fridge)
The young women by the table is Estefania who has been helping
out every day as a volunteer
The family in the morning