times they are 'a changen - ME

Living in the moment while having to make plans for the states, a bummer but a blessing reminding me how much I have been transformed to live for the day and not take for granted the present moments. So as I receive an invitation from Maggie Johnston to return and work for the McDowell Environmental Center for a month, between returning to the states and starting the ECHO internship, I realize how rooted I have become in the day to day progression of life.

It started last week or so as I was finalizing my return flight when plans started to be made for my return. Things such as who will pick me up, what will the weekend plan be and where will I live before the internship. It is a bit of a mind bender to catapult my mind into jan, feb and march. I have been having a lot of fun just waiting to see what the next day brings. Nothing huge has happened but nice little surprises pop up such as a family barbeque, walking in the rain to a fruit bar, an impromptu trip to the movie theater to enjoy ice cream and popcorn.

So to understand what this means to me you need to understand who I was. Well, I suppose they are my still present tendencies to over plan, over organize and be too wound-up to be on my schedule and routine. I would have to plan a week in advance (minimum) to mentally prepare myself to go out and do anything, and if plans didn’t work out I was a mess and not at all happy.

Ha! A routine!? Barley exists here. Not for me anyway. The first number of months this was very difficult for me. In the states I thrived on routine and expectations, neither of which are easy to come by here.

I now love the freedom I have been introduced to. I still make plans a few days in advance but just as an outline. If it doesn’t work out, the plans are changed and my day is just as lovely, if not better, than what we would have done previously. I feel like I am seeing and experiencing far more than I would have hand-cuffed to my own expectations.

Releasing ones expectations has been, for me, a release of pride. Think about it, who am I to dictate my every moment? Who knows better what will bring me fulfillment than the Lord God. I like to think in my new flexibility I am listening more to God and enjoying the moments of life I am gifted. The future is not guaranteed and I definitely can not add an hour to my life through fretting ( so says scripture). So I won’t fret, I will live.

Thankfully this doesn’t mean I have to give up planning all together, life still takes organizing and forming goals. It gives me something to move towards, but in the mean time I will enjoy the journey.

Remember I always appreciate hearing from you, don’t be a stranger. Be blessed, at peace and laugh out Loud!

LauraCatherine Conville