Sunday, May 17, 2009

what is God doing in this Mission Trip


A God one-on-one moment:  So a number of weeks ago, I had a very real and interesting encounter with God.  It was during the time I was feeling the loneliest and I had been struggling to encounter God, trying to get the face-to-face contact.  Among my streaming thoughts I began to wonder about prayer.  I recalled scripture that I have studied related to the topic, meditated on it being through faith that our prayers are answered and I recalled a book that my friend Alicia and I discussed this past fall.  I happened to have read a section of this book where the author suggests a prayer form that he calls "random acts of prayer" or something to that very effect.  The author challenges the reader to use his or her daily life as an excuses to pray for those around you.  Well, as I was walking back to the office one bright sunny day I walked upon a couple of men trying to get their car to turn-over.  It was making sounds that did not give much hope it would cooperate.  I decided that these gentlemen needed a Godly intervention and so as I was walking towards the car I prayed, in the name of Christ, that the car would start.  As I concluded the prayer with an Amen and was passing the car, it started.  It wasn't a surprise that it started at that moment, but I felt a wave of extreme gratitude and love.  I gave thanks over and over again for God's grace and kindness.  That was the face-to-face, instant gratification moment I needed.  I know God is there but sometimes what I really want is for the Lord to be sitting at the foot of my bed, talking with me about my heart and letting me cry in His arms.  I am realizing my weakness of being in this.  I so want my faith and the Spirit to be enough to sustain me.  I want to be abel to say and live into a relationship with God that is so full that I am never lonely, that God is all I need and never waver in knowing that God will give me his best.  Yet I have found myself in tears wondering  where God was and wanting a physical presence to comfort me, but God is much bigger than such moments; He is so much greater than what I think I need.  As I reflect on the waves of emotions that I have experienced I realize where God has been in each circumstance. It is not a pale reflection or a shadow of God's Holy work, but it is bright, beautiful and clearly present.  I wonder how I don't see it as it is in progress.  One bright blessing in this journey is my friendship with Audra.  In this friendship God has blessed me with that physical presence I need.  We talk about our hearts, our pains and trials, we share innumerable laughs and our tears.  I don't know of many such circumstances (if any) where two strangers where placed together as a team in another country and became best friends; it is nothing short of a blessings form an immensely loving God.  So, despite the organization issues with this mission, it has been a remarkable growing experience for me spiritually.  

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